


The Great Divide

by ImOutOfMyVulcanMind (LoopyLu94)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, Swearing, injuries, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 08:26:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17056310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoopyLu94/pseuds/ImOutOfMyVulcanMind
Summary: Leonard has a secret. Reader finds out. They break-up. Will they be able to overcome it?





	The Great Divide

The console flashed red as it declined you entry to your quarters, and you frowned, entering your code a second time. Again, a red flash. You knocked on the door instead, knowing Leonard was in there. “Len? It’s me. I can’t get in.” From the other side, you heard a hushed voice that was unmistakably Leonard’s, but you couldn’t make out what he was saying.

There were footsteps, and the door swished open. “Sorry about, darlin’.” Leonard smiled at you, but you replied with a simple noncommittal noise, pushing past Leonard and entering the quarters you shared with him. You looked around, but it was empty.

“Who were you talking to?” You turned to look back at Leonard. “I heard you speaking.”

“I had to take an important video call and didn’t want to be interrupted. That’s why I secured the door so it was medical overdrive only.” Leonard explained. His face was calm, but there was a tension in his body that you also picked up on.

“Another? You must be popular.” You kept your eyes on Leonard, noting how he couldn’t hold your gaze for long. You clenched your jaw, watching the other for a few more moments to see if he’d say anything else. When he didn’t, you turned your back on him and went into the bathroom without another word.

You let the door close and lock behind you, and leaned back against it. This hadn’t been the first time you caught Leonard doing something he obviously didn’t want you to know about. Over the last few months, since he asked you to move into his quarters, you’d come home to find yourself locked out multiple times. And each time Leonard had an excuse. Important video call needed some alone time, his excuses seemed endless. The first couple of times you’d believed him. But after that, you’d started noticing his odd body language, the way he crossed his arms across his chest or refused to look you in the eye.

You had tried to talk to him about, but again, excuses. Some were genuine, a medical emergency, others, not so much.  _“I have to go. I said I’d do some reports with Jim.”_ Jim preferred to complete reports alone, everyone knew that. You couldn’t argue with it though. If you asked, Jim would say he had spent the evening with Leonard.

Sighing, you went to the shower and turned on the water. One good thing about living with Leonard was being able to have proper showers instead of the sonic ones. A perk of being CMO. You striped, and stepped under the hot water, letting the steady stream try and relax your tense muscles. You stayed there far longer than was necessary, your skin flushed red by the time you were done. You wrapped one towel around your body, and another around your hair, and exited.

You had been expecting to find Leonard setting out a meal for the two of you, it was what he usually did after locking you out, but instead, you found the quarters empty. Not even a note. You sighed again, going to the closet and pulling out a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt seeing as you were no longer on duty. You pulled the items on, then dried your hair. You considered trying to find Leonard but then thought better of it. Let him skulk off. Instead, you grabbed your PADD, and flopped onto the couch, planning to do some reading.

Only when you turned the screen on you realized it wasn’t yours, it was Leonard’s.

You frowned at the screen, reading the information in front of you. It was confirmation of a credit transfer to another bank account. You knew Leonard paid his ex-wife alimony, and also sent credits to his mother every month, but you also knew that this account number didn’t belong to either of them. Those payments went automatically on the first of each Earth month, Leonard had told you once. This payment had been manual though, and you were certain that it definitely wasn’t the start of a new month.

You scrolled through the history. Leonard had been sending a large amount of his salary to this account for two years now. It started when you’d embarked on the five-year mission before the two of you even started dating. You tried to find out more about the mysterious account, but when you couldn’t provide the right passcode, you were locked out.

You were confused, and your head hurt. What was Leonard keeping from you? Your head spun as you tried to think everything through, attempting to find a reasonable, and innocent, reason. No matter how hard you tried though, you couldn’t. All your mind returned to was that there was someone else.

There must be someone else on Earth, someone Leonard was providing for by sending them credits. The thought made your stomach twist into knots, the implications making you queasy. If that was the case, you’d be his other woman. Someone for him to have a fling with while he was in space. What was his plan? Wait until the end of the five years, then dump you and go back to who? His girlfriend? Wife? No, Leonard wasn’t like that, surely. He wouldn’t cheat. Wouldn’t lie. Would he? You didn’t even know him until you were assigned to the Enterprise for her mission. And even after two years, you only knew basic details about his past. Could he have been hiding this? The hushed calls. Were they to his partner? You’d only noticed them since you moved in with him, but that didn’t mean they hadn’t been happening before that.

It felt like everything you knew was crumbling around you, and you weren’t even surprised at yourself when tear droplets landed on the PADD screen, blurring the words underneath them.

“I’m sorry I disappeared on you, darlin’. I got called down to Medbay, but it turned out to be a false alarm. Wha- what’s wrong?” Leonard entered the room, rushing over to you when he saw you were upset. He took the PADD from your hands and looked down at it. “This is mine. Why the hell are you going through my things?”

“I picked it up by accident.” You snapped, turning to look at Leonard. “What’s more pressing is why are you sending credits to another account? And who are you talking to all the time?” You tried to keep your voice steady, but the pain in your tone was evident.

“I don’t think it’s any of your business who I send my salary too! Or what I do in my private time!” Leonard snapped, turning his PADD off and setting it down with considerable force.

“It is when you’re actively lying to my face, Leonard! Especially as we’re  _meant_ to be in a relationship!” You rose suddenly, unable to sit so close to Leonard. “Who is it? There’s someone else on Earth isn’t there?” You crossed your arms across your chest, watching as Leonard rose to. “Am I just a fling for you, Leonard? A body to keep you warm on the cold, space nights? Are you planning on leaving me high and dry as soon as set foot on Earth again?”

“ _What?_  Don’t be so stupid! You know how I feel about you! Even if you do invade my privacy. There’s no one else- “

“I didn’t invade anything! You left your PADD here, and that screen up, so if either of us is stupid, it’s you! You should cover your lies more carefully!”

“Dammit, Y/N, I’m not lying!”

“Then tell me who you’re sending so many credits too!”

Leonard balled his hands into fists and took a deep breath to try and calm himself. “No. It’s personal.”

You nodded, giving Leonard a tight-lipped smile. “Of course it is. Who am I to ask you to share something? Your girlfriend? No. I’m just your bit on the side.”

“I’m not cheating on you, God dammit! And I’m not cheating on someone else  _with_ you!” Leonard looked sincere, but you shook your head regardless. He was lying about something.

“So you keep saying, yet you don’t offer me an alternative! What am I meant to think!” You turned, going back to the closet and grabbing a clean uniform.

“What are you doing?” Leonard’s voice followed.

“I’m going. I can’t share a bed with a liar.” You grabbed everything else you needed, shoving them into a small carry-on bag you used for shore leaves. You made your way to the door, but Leonard stopped you by grabbing your arm.

“I’m not lying to you.” He growled.

You glared at him. “Then tell me what you’re doing.” You waited for an answer, but when none came, you shook your arm free of Leonard’s grasp. “Maybe both of us are stupid. You for leaving your secrets lying around, and me for thinking I could trust you.”

You left the room, half expecting Leonard to follow you, but he didn’t. You didn’t really know where to go, not feeling like having any more company for one night. Your feet carried you back to your old quarters though. It hadn’t been reassigned yet, and when you tried your code, the doors slid open.

The room was bleak and bare, you’d taken everything with you when you’d moved into Leonard’s quarters, but you didn’t care. You were just grateful for the privacy. You let your bag fall to the floor and collapsed onto the bed. It was made, like all unoccupied quarters, in case one was needed in an emergency.

You buried your face into the pillow as you began to sob, your shoulders heaving with each sharp intake of breath. You couldn’t believe Leonard had done this to you. There were so many others you would have expected it from, but not Leonard. He had always seemed so trustworthy, and putting your faith in him had come naturally. It felt like you’d been punched in the stomach, the pain all too real.

You cried until you had no more tears left, and the pillow beneath you soaked. You tossed it to one side, and lay flat on the mattress, staring at the ceiling. You knew you should rest, that things might seem different if you weren’t exhausted, but sleep eluded you. You watched the minutes tick away on the chrono, each one feeling like forever.

Finally, it was a suitable time for you to be seen in the lab without raising suspicion, so you rose from the bed and went into the tiny bathroom. You didn’t feel like a sonic shower, instead opting to splash your face with cold water to try and hide the puffiness of your eyes. Then you retrieved your belongings, not for the first time glad of Starfleet’s non-crease uniforms, and changed into it. By the time you had tamed your hair and applied some light make-up to mask any redness, you looked presentable, even if you didn’t feel it.

You weren’t hungry, so chose to skip breakfast, getting a coffee in its place, and made your way to the labs. It was still well before Alpha shift, so the corridors were empty, something you were glad for. Small talk was not on your to-do list at the moment.

You had assumed that the labs would be empty, there were rarely any science officers assigned to Gamma shift unless there were substances that needed observing, and they were mostly empty. Except for Spock. Of course, Spock would be here.

The Vulcan looked up from his microscope as you entered, an eyebrow quirking up. “Greetings, Lieutenant. Is there a problem? Alpha shift does not commence for another hour.” You felt him studying you closely as walked to your station.

“Couldn’t sleep, and I have some samples to check, so thought I’d come in early.” You replied, giving him the brightest smile you could muster. Spock was always far too observant, and you really didn’t want to answer the questions that he’d ask if he thought something was wrong. Thankfully, Spock didn’t press any further and let you commence your work while he returned to your own.

The two of you worked in silence for most of the hour, but a few minutes before Alpha shift was due to start, Leonard walked in. You tensed as soon as you saw him, and you noted how he tensed too. He looked at you but didn’t say anything, turning his attention to Spock instead.

“Spock, is there any news on that vaccine you’ve been working on? We’re still getting cases of that alien chicken-pox, and I’d really like to put an end to it once and for all.”

“We are making progress, Doctor. If our final tests go well, there should be a suitable vaccination ready by the end of the week.” Spock replied smoothly. If he noticed the tension, he wasn’t bringing it up.

“Good.” Leonard nodded curtly, then turned on his heels and left.

Spock waited until the echoes of Leonard’s retreating footsteps had faded, then rose and walked over to you. “I am aware that your personal affairs are not my concern, and if you wish me to stop, please tell me, but is your relationship with Doctor McCoy well? There seemed to be a considerable amount of tension between you.”

You paused for a moment, looking down at your lap, unsure what to say. “No. Last night…we had an argument. One I don’t know if we’ll be able to recover from.”

Spock nodded, waiting until it was clear that you had nothing else to say before speaking again. “I understand. I consider you both to be my friends, so will not attempt to get involved. However, if at any point during the shift you wish to take some personal time, please do so. There is no need to consult me.”

You smiled, looking back up at Spock. Many people disliked the Vulcan, but you’d always gotten on, even before your relationship with Leonard. “Thank you, sir.”

“There is no need for thanks, Lieutenant, the decision is only logical. If you are upset or distressed, you are unable to work as efficiently, and should, therefore, be allowed time to process the unpleasant thoughts.” Spock answered, saying it as if it were the simplest thing in the world as he went back to his station.

Alpha shift started, and as the samples you were examining were delicate, it allowed you to keep your distance from the other science officers. Spock was busy, back and forth between the lab and the bridge, so he didn’t pry anymore. Not that you thought he would anyway. When there was only about thirty minutes left of the shift, you felt yourself start to get anxious again. You didn’t know how busy med bay was, and if Leonard would be finished on time. You didn’t really feel like facing him again yet, but you needed to get some more clean clothes.

You rose from your station and walked over to Spock, who had just returned from the bridge. “Commander, may I leave early to attend to some…personal matters. I have finished my examination of the samples you assigned me, and sent my report to your PADD.”

Spock looked up at you and nodded his assent. “Very well, Lieutenant. I’ll see you for shift tomorrow.”

You offered Spock a small, grateful smile, then left the lab. As you were walking, you realized you had to pass med bay, and groaned inwardly. Hoping you wouldn’t be spotted, you scurried by, not slowing down until you reached your…Leonard’s quarters. You unlocked the door, and slipped in.

The rooms were empty and didn’t look much different than they had last night, except for the glass and the empty bottle of bourbon sitting on the table. You swallowed thickly, your argument must have caused some reaction in Leonard then. For a moment, you were tempted to stay and wait, just to see if Leonard would finally tell you the truth, but you shook yourself out of it. No. Leonard was the one who was lying. He should seek you out if he wanted to explain.

You went to the closet and quickly began to pull out your clothes, folding them and placing them on the bed. You’d have to carry them back. You left your bag in your room, and there was nothing else left to use. It shouldn’t be too bad. You were only taking enough for a couple of days.

You were just getting ready to leave when the door slid open, and your heart plummeted as Leonard stepped in. “You been talking to Spock about our problems.” It wasn’t a question, and there was quiet anger in Leonard’s voice. One you’d only heard once when an alien had threatened Jim. It was far more terrifying than when he shouted.

“Commander Spock asked if all was well between us after you ignored me this morning, all I said was that we had an argument we might not recover from. Nothing else.” You defended yourself, refusing to shrink away even if you felt like doing so. “It is, after all, an offense to lie to a Commanding Officer. If you didn’t want anyone prying, you should have at least attempted to act normal like I did.”

Leonard frowned, and you could see his jaw clench and unclench as he tried to calm himself. “Spock told Jim, so I’ve had him on my case.”

You shrugged. “That’s got nothing to do with me.” You folded your arms across your chest, something you seemed to be doing all the time around Leonard recently. “What did Jim have to say? Don’t tell me he knew about this other woman too.”

Leonard sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “No…there is no other woman, Y/N. Sit with me…please? Let…let me explain.” You watched as Leonard moved to a cupboard and extracted another bottle of bourbon, along with two clean glasses. He poured some of the amber liquid in each, and offered one to you.

You hesitated, but stepped over and took the glass, choosing to sit in the rooms only armchair rather than join Leonard on the couch. “I’m waiting.”

Leonard sighed again, taking a large gulp of the liquor, before setting the glass down and picking up his PADD instead. He spent a few moments on it, then passed it to you. You took it, frowning at the image on the screen. It was of a young girl, no older than ten, smiling brightly at the camera. It surprised you how much she looked like Leonard. She had the same thick dark hair and hazel eyes.

“That’s Joanna. Jo. She’s my daughter.” Leonard’s voice was barely audible, and your eyes snapped from the screen to him. “She’s who I’ve been sending the credits to. A college fund for her. Same with the video calls. They’ve been to her.”

You were silent as you took in what Leonard was saying. You knew you should have been relieved that there was no one else, that Leonard wasn’t two-timing anyone, but there was still nagging at the back of your mind. Leonard had still lied to you. Kept something this big from you for two years.

“Y/N?” Leonard’s voice drew you from your thoughts, and you looked back down at the girl, Jo, once more before passing the PADD back to Leonard.

“Why?”

“Sorry?”

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this sooner? It’s been two years.” Your own voice was quiet, a mix of emotions in your tone as you downed the rest of your glass of bourbon.

“I never tell anyone about Jo at first. Not until I trust them- “

“So you’re saying you don’t trust me?” You snapped, feeling the bubble of rage starting to form again.

“I didn’t say that!”

“That’s what I’m hearing! You don’t tell people you don’t trust about your daughter, and it’s taken all of this for you to tell me! You can’t trust me!”

“I do trust you! I love you! I didn’t want to scare you off!”

“What was your plan then? Lie to me for the rest of our lives? Didn’t you think I’d find out at some point?” You ran a hand through your hair.

“I don’t know! It got harder as time went on! I didn’t know how you’d react! I was right to be wary!” Leonard shouted, gripping his glass so hard you thought he might shatter it.

“What the hell? I’m only upset because you spent two years lying and hiding something so major from me! And you’re only telling me now because I caught you out!” You shouted back, jumping to feet so you could pace. “If you’d told me straight up I would have understood! Been happy even! I don’t care you have a kid!”

“Well, then why are you still so pissed?” Leonard was standing too. “If you care so little, then just get over it!”

“How can someone so smart be such an idiot? How do you not understand? I’m pissed because you obviously had no intention to tell me about her! I’m pissed because how am I meant to believe that you aren’t hiding anything else from me? I’m pissed that I can’t trust you like I thought I could!” You yelled, throwing your glass at the nearest wall in your rage. It satisfyingly smashed into tiny pieces all over the floor.

Leonard flinched at your sudden movement, even though your aim had been nowhere near him. “One thing Y/N! One thing! I’ve never lied about anything else!”  

You shook your head. “I wish I could believe you, Leonard.” You sniffed and turned to go back into the bedroom, glass crunching under your boots as you did so.

“I’m not letting you leave again!” Leonard followed you, blocking the door.

“And I’m not staying with someone who can’t even say sorry when they lie!” You grabbed the clothes you had set out earlier, and shoved your way past Leonard.

Leonard turned to watch you. “Don’t you dare leave!”

You laughed harshly. “Just because you can order me around when we’re on duty, doesn’t mean you get to order me now!” You shouted one last time, before turning your back on Leonard and walking out once more.

~

Days passed and you and Leonard didn’t speak. Not that that helped the ache inside you lessen. It was ever present, and you threw yourself even more into your work to try and drown it out. You were at the lab constantly, only going when Spock ordered you out. Which was usually just after he made sure you ate an actual meal rather than survive off coffee and replicated ice cream. You knew he was looking after you just like Jim was looking after Leonard.

Whenever you did see the Doctor it looked like he wasn’t doing much better than you. He seemed to be working just as much as you, and there were dark circles under his eyes. You felt your heart pull when you saw him like that, but you refused to give in. He was in the wrong.

After a week of neither of you speaking, Jim started to try and intervene, asking the both of you to an empty room, a neutral location to try and talk it out. You’d both agreed the first time, but what had started civilly, only descended into chaos again, resulting in Spock and Jim having to separate you both. Any invitation after that was always declined by one, or both, of you.

Soon, days turned into weeks and there was still no improvement. You had thought that the pain would have eased by now, but it was still as fresh as ever, though you were slowly starting to manage to be around him professionally without bickering or wanting to cry.

Which was good, as a month later Spock approached you at your station and you were surprised by the mild look of hesitance on his features. “What’s wrong, Commander?”

“Nothing, Lieutenant. I came to request your presence on a diplomatic mission that will be taking place in three days. The planet has been contacted already, but before it is granted entry into the Federation, we require more knowledge of it. I need a second valued officer to aid me in collecting samples to analyze while remaining aware that this alliance is new, so caution must be taken to not offend the planets, citizens.”

You nodded, pleased that Spock would think you capable of such a mission. “Of course, sir. I’d be happy to join you.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant, your enthusiasm is appreciated. However, I should mention that as the Captain will be with us, Doctor McCoy will join the landing party too. If you believe that this will be a problem, removing you from the mission detail will not be held against you.”

You paused a moment, but then shook your head. “Thank you for your concern, but there will be no problem. Doctor McCoy and I are both professionals.”

Spock nodded. “Very well, thank you, Lieutenant. There’ll be a briefing tomorrow at sixteen-hundred hours.”

Spock left you, and you took a deep breath. While it was getting easier, this would still be the first mission with Leonard, and you weren’t exactly looking forward to it.

The next few days passed quickly. You and Leonard didn’t even look at each other during the briefing, the two of you focusing on your work, and soon enough you were joining him, Jim, Spock and two security officers on the transporter pad.

You were greeted on the planet by an Ambassador for the species, who welcomed you all warmly. The inhabitants of the planet had yet to learn Federation Standard, but you all had universal translators on you, so you were able to understand each other. Jim and the Ambassador exchanged a few pleasantries, then Jim requested permission for you and Spock to collect some scientific specimens for research purposes.

“Of course, Captain Kirk. I will send one of my men as a guide.” The Ambassador replied, bowing his head respectfully.

“Thank you. Smith, accompany Commander Spock and Lieutenant Y/L/N also.” Jim said, turning to the security officer in question.

“Aye, sir.”

The Ambassador spoke to a member of his own escort, who stepped forward and began to guide the three of you to a good spot for your tests. The planet’s terrain was much like Earth, and your guide led you to an open field with numerous plants.

Spock looked around, seeing the beginning of a sparse forest in the distance. “Lieutenant, go to the forest and collect samples there. It will take less time if we split up.” He told you, before turning to your guide. “Please go with the Lieutenant and keep her safe.”

You followed your guide up towards the trees, and a little way into the forest itself, and began to work. You moved around in silence, focusing on your work rather than chatting with the guide. He didn’t look the friendliest anyway. You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but you were startled when the crackling of a radio sounded. It was from your guides communication device. The words came too quickly for your translator to pick up, but from the way the other turned to look at you, you knew it wasn’t good.

You raised your hands in surrender at the exact same time as your guide, turned attacker, drew his weapon. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I mean you no harm. None of us do. We’ve come in peace.” You tried to say calmly, despite the fear creeping into your tone. The civilization here had advanced technology mostly, but their weapons still resembled old Earth guns. And you didn’t have a phaser on you.

You began to move slowly, trying to get to the edge of the clearing, but your attacker blocked your escape. Your heart was hammering so hard you thought it was going to burst from your chest. You considered running deeper into the forest, but you’d never get the advantage. “SPOCK!” You yelled as loud as you could, narrowly missing the first shot from the weapon. More shots were fired in quick succession, leaving you no choice but to run, and hopefully, find somewhere to hide.

You sprinted as quickly as you could, but your attacker was always on your heels. As you ran, the trees became denser, and the roots more tangled, making it harder to move with any sort of speed. Thorns and brambles caught your skin and uniform as you tried to move in some form of zigzag pattern. You weren’t trained in combat, but you knew running in a straight line was never a good idea.

A cry was torn from you as pain seared through your leg, and you tumbled to the ground. You looked down to see the blood spilling from the limb, and tried to scramble to your feet again with no avail. You rolled onto your back to see your pursuer stalking towards you, his weapon still raised.

You were trapped and you knew it. It was impossible for you to run, and as your hands clawed at the ground around you, you found nothing to even try and defend yourself with. “Please…don’t…” Your voice cracked as you pleaded, the tears prickling at your eyes. You had always thought you’d be brave in the face of death, but right at the moment, you were willing to do anything to make it out alive. There was still too much to do. Too many things to say.

Your attacker was standing over you know, his weapon aimed at your chest. You closed your eyes.

Multiple sounds exploded at once.

Gunshots.

A shout.

A phaser being fired.

A thud.

You opened your eyes to see the blood drowning your blue uniform, then the pain hit. You screamed.

Spock was by your side. He was saying something, but you couldn’t understand it. The pain was too much. Your body was on fire. You tried to breathe, but all you did was cough, the coppery taste of blood flooding your taste buds. There were hands on you, you could feel it. Spock and Smith were pressing their hands to multiple points on your body. The blood was covering their skin quickly, the pressure they were applying doing little to stem the bleeding.

“Y/N!” A voice you knew broke through your fog of agony. Leonard. His hazel eyes appeared in front of you, and despite your racing your heart, you felt a calmness wash over you. Leonard was here. He’d look after you. “It’s okay, darlin’. Try and stay calm for me.” Leonard’s hands were on you, and you shivered underneath him. Despite his soothing words, he was frowning, his eyes darting from one point to another of your body.

You wanted to reach out to touch him, but your arms were too heavy to move. You tried to say his name instead. But all you did was cough more. The edge of your vision was beginning to go black. You didn’t have long.

“Stay awake for me, darlin’, alright? You’re doing great.” Leonard was next to you again, rising as you did. Spock was lifting you. The movement said a wave of pure agony washing over you, and your scream even sounded deafening to your own dulled senses. “Just a little longer, and we’ll have you good as new.”

The feel of the warm gold lights encircling you didn’t penetrate the pain, but you saw them, and the trees above you were replaced with the ceiling of the transporter pad.

You were moving again, something solid coming into contact with your back. Spock set you down on a stretcher. You were surrounded by medical staff, and a panic rose within you when you couldn’t see Leonard, but then he was there again, holding your hand again as the stretcher you were on was pushed.

He was barking orders you didn’t understand, but he was here. “You’re doing so well for me, Y/N.” Leonard looked at you with a smile. You’d missed that smile. You blinked your eyes slowly. You were so tired. You wanted to tell him that you still loved him, that you were sorry for fighting with him so much, but you didn’t have the energy. Leonard read your mind, it seemed. “When you’re better, we’ll talk. Properly. I promise. I…” Leonard continued talking, but you didn’t hear any more. Your eyes fell closed for a final time, darkness engulfing you.

~

The first thing you noticed was the pain. It wasn’t overwhelming, but it was there. Steady and persistent. The second thing was that your hand was sweaty. The rest of your body wasn’t, but one hand was. Something was wrapped around it. Another hand. You forced your eyes open, and you saw was the mop of dark hair resting on the bed next to you. It was Leonard. A tiny smile found its way to your lips. You tried to say his name, but speaking was too much effort. Instead, you used all your concentration and managed to squeeze his hand back.

Leonard’s head shot up, his eyes widening when he saw your own opened. “Y/N, thank God.” He was on his feet in seconds, studying the charts above the biobed. “Are you in pain?” At your nod, Leonard had a hypo in his hand faster than you could process, and administered it. It must have been strong because it only took moments for the pain to ebb away. Leonard ran a couple of basic tests. He shone a light in your eyes, made you follow his fingers, and after he’d given you some water, asked a few simple questions.

Once he was satisfied, Leonard sat again, taking your hand in his. He was tired, large dark circles under his eyes, and the dark stubble around his face told you he hadn’t shaved in at least four days. He’d been here the whole time. “I thought I’d lost you, Y/N.” Leonard’s voice broke as he spoke, and he raised your hand to his lips to press a gentle kiss to your knuckles. “The bullets didn’t do much damage, but they hit arteries. You lost so much blood. Too much. You went into Hypovolemic shock.” Leonard took a deep breath, and you heard him sniff. “Your heart stopped beating. Just before we got you into the operating room. I only just managed to get it going again.”

“Len…” You whispered, squeezing his hand back. “It’s okay. I’m okay…right?”

Leonard nodded. “Yeah. You’ve been unconscious for four days, I was starting to worry about brain damage, but now you’re awake, everything’s fine. You’re recovering from your injuries well. You’ll need some physio for your leg, but you’ll be right as rain soon.”

You nodded. You were starting to feel tired again, but your curiosity still got the better of you. “What happened? Down there. Why did he attack me?”

“Wasn’t just you, darlin’. They attacked us all. The security officer with Jim and I stepped into some sacred shrine they had, that only ordained persons were allowed into. The punishment was immediate death. For the intruder, and everyone they were associated with. Which was us.” Leonard explained, shushing you softly when he saw the worry creep onto your face. “Everyone’s fine. Jim and I managed to get away before too many alarms were sounded, and alerted Spock. He told us his location, and ran after you. He heard your shout, so followed it. He got to you, and stunned the guy, but he still shot you first. I got there not long after. The rest is a blur. I was just focused on you.”

Leonard was still holding your hand to his face, and you smiled at the gentle gesture. Having him so close again felt right. “Len, I’m sorry. The things I said-“

“No.” Leonard interrupted you. “First, you have nothing to be sorry for, Y/N. Nothing. Second, we’re not going to have this discussion now. I can see you’re exhausted, and your vitals aren’t good enough yet to risk any sort of upset. Get some more rest, and if you’re better the next time you wake, we’ll talk then. Deal?”

It was getting harder to concentrate, especially now the pain had gone, leaving you even more tired than before, so you agreed. “Okay. You rest too. You look terrible, and you smell even worse.”

Leonard laughed as he nodded. “I’ve always loved how brutally honest you are when you’re tired.” He set your hand down gently, and rose. He hesitated for a moment, then kissed your forehead. “I’ll see you later.” You watched until Leonard had left, then closed your eyes again and drifted back to sleep.

The next time you woke, you felt better. Still sore, but it was less. Leonard was again sitting next to you, reading something off his PADD. He hadn’t noticed you were awake yet. You took the time to watch him silently. He looked better. Rested, shaven with the smell of soap, antiseptic and a hint of the bourbon aftershave you’d bought him, a scent distinctly his, wafted towards you.

Leonard must have felt you watching him because he looked up from his PADD and smiled. “Hey there.” He glanced up at the readings, seeming to like what he saw, then looked back at you. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah. I’m only a little sore now. Can I sit up?”

“Course, darlin’.” Leonard moved and helped you to it up, propping your back with pillows. “Okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Len.” You smiled, watching Leonard sit down again.

Leonard looked down at his hands for a few long moments, and you could see he was preparing to say something, so you stayed quiet. Finally, he looked back at you. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not telling you about Jo, I’m sorry for not saying sorry about it, and I’m sorry for being such a dick over everything. You were right to be pissed. I’d be pissed if it were the other way around. I should have told you sooner, and I hate that it took me almost losing you to see how wrong I’ve been.”

You listened to him, taking in his words. When he finished, you replied. “I understand why you didn’t tell me at first. I wouldn’t go telling everyone I met personal things either. I guess I even understand why you found it hard to tell me as time went on. It got harder. There was more to lose. I get it. And I forgive you.” Leonard brightened, and opened his mouth to say something, but you shook your head. “I forgive you for not telling me, but…but you still lied to me. And that hurt. You broke a trust I had in you. I can’t just fix that overnight.”

Leonard swallowed thickly, and you saw a spark of fear in his eyes. “What can I do? I don’t want to lose you. The last few weeks have been hell. I haven’t even been able to sleep in bed. It’s so empty without you. Whatever I can do, tell me. I’ll do it.”

You thought for a minute. “Tell me everything. I mean everything. Show me there are no more secrets between us.”

“Okay. When you’re better, we’ll go somewhere. The observation deck, maybe. You like it there. I’ll tell you whatever you whatever you want, though there is nothing else, I swear.”

You nodded. “Yeah. Good.” You smiled. “Thank you.”

“Don’t need to thank me, darlin’.” Leonard smiled back, running his fingers through your hair. “When your discharged…will you come back home?”

“I’d like that. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Leonard.” The words felt foreign on your tongue after so long, but they felt right too. “Tell me about her? Jo? I’d like to know.”

Leonard’s smiled broadened, and he grabbed his PADD again. You listened to him talk about his daughter, showing you multiple photos of her from throughout her life, his chest swelling in pride. You occasionally asked questions, but you mainly lay there, smiling at him. You knew things weren’t perfect again yet, but you also knew that you’d get there. Now the two of you were together again, you’d work it out.


End file.
